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Don’t Make Me Say It

The search begins…

It’s not there. I swore it was in the desk drawer.

Ok… Let me think a minute… I can see it in my head. I see it there… and there… and there.

Not there. Where is it?

Ok… I’ll go look upstairs in my room. I can see it in my head. I see it there… and there… and there.

Not there either. Where is it?

Ugggh. I really don’t even want to go to the basement. I really should check there but I’m not feeling it. It has to be in the basement because it isn’t anywhere else.

I go to the dirty basement and walk over to the shelves. I’m not even going to look in the green box because I was in that box just two days ago. I KNOW it’s not in the photo boxes because there just isn’t any room. I check the basket, which is the only place I feel it might be.

Not there either. Where is it?

I walk along the shelves.

I’m not feeling this.

I stand in the middle of this chaos that is called the basement and scan the entire place.

I’m not feeling this.

I go to the other side of the basement where Hophead keeps most of his tools. I check the white shelves because it can’t be anywhere else.

Not there either. Where is it?

It’s not even that important. I’m just stuck on finding it especially now that I’ve stopped everything else I was doing.

Please don’t make me say your name.

You always come through for Hophead. Go figure? He has never had religion. I was the Catholic then the “Cafeteria Catholic” and now the “Catholic in Remission”.

Yeah, Remission! I am free from Catholicism… Sort of. I can never be free of Catholicism because it’s in my core. This is how I was raised, not-to-mention Aunt Dot.

Aunt Dot always had a Patron Saint for any situation and sometimes there was even a prayer to go along with it;

“St. Anne, St. Anne send me a man as fast as you can.”

Yeup, I’ve used that one and shared it with many of my single girlfriends. Last time I used it I added a “For realz this time” and then I met Hophead.

Since I was a little girl the one prayer I ALWAYS used was to St. Anthony, patron saint of lost and stolen articles;

“Dear St. Anthony, Something is lost and can’t be found. Please help me find it.”

Not sure if that is the official prayer. I tended to start everything off like I was writing a letter; “Dear God…”. Maybe I would have had faster results if I added;  “… Yours Truly, Reddudette”.

A few years back Hophead was desperately searching for something and I told him about St. Anthony and THE (my) prayer. It worked like a charm! Kinda freaked Hophead out a bit due to how well it worked.

For a while there, St. Anthony wasn’t always so helpful for me. Maybe he was too busy with Hophead? Maybe he was not happy with my “Catholicism in Remission”?

So I stopped praying to him…Until… this morning.

Please don’t make me say your name.

Ok, ok…

“St. Anthony please help me find this stoopid thing”

I went back to the desk, which is the first place I looked. Opened the drawer further and BAM! There it was.

As soon as I said his name… It worked!

I just can’t get away from it… The Catholic upbringing. Then again I don’t want to.

 

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Is He Wearing Pants?

Every time this AT&T commercial comes on I think the guy in the ceiling is sans pants.

 

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When is Enough Enough

How well do you know your body to say “Enough is enough”?

Today was a big test for me on that subject.

I have done things in my life and pushed myself for fear of embarrassment and it has hurt me and that is not good. There is a fine line of pushing yourself and pushing yourself where you get hurt.

I started running back in 2001. I trained with some friends to race a marathon but in the end I didn’t run that marathon. I had a stress fracture in my a ankle and then hurt my knee. I felt so weak and and like a fucking baby. I continued to raise money with my team and to be honest I still felt like a failure.  The money I raised did not make the failure I had with my body any better. I thought maybe I was just being a baby and maybe I should have pushed myself more.

My friends ran that marathon and I healed and continued to run.

I needed to figure it all out so I concentrated on my feet and knees and I got the form down right. Then I realized when I ran my legs could keep going my my lungs could not. So I worked on my breathing.

So I run and then I don’t and then I run again and I don’t.

2012 I lost a good amount of weight. I joined a running program and started from scratch. This wasn’t easy because I’ve already run a half marathon so to join a 5k program was good and bad.  I felt it was beneath me but I also felt I needed to get back to basics.

The first few weeks were so blah. This was easy shit and I was up front and flying through it until we got to the day we had to run 2 miles non stop. Here was where my real issue was… ALWAYS. I never ran throughout that and consistently. The day came and I was nervous to do that two miles and I thought. “Damn! If I’m nervous what do some of these others (beneath me) think.

I ran those two miles and I ran through wanting to stop and I learned so much that day. Fleet Feet has some fantastic people!

Our training program was leading up to a 5k that we all did together. My goal was to pass everyone in a blue Fleet Feet Training program shirt and pass them. Sounds like I’m a condescending shit but we all have to find what it is to push us. I got my best time EVER! I finished in 7 minutes 11 seconds.

I was skinny and I was getting faster. I felt so good. So I signed up for the Nike Women’s Half in DC in 2013.

We moved to Frederick at the end of the summer of 2012.

Where do I run now?

Trying to figure out where I was comfortable running during this training. Food in downtown Frederick is so good and so easy after a long day of work. I did run that half marathon after many trials and tribulations and I did beat my previous half marathon time by ten minutes and luckily I did not hurt myself.

Fast forward to 2014 and I signed up and got selected for the Cherry Blossom 10 Miler. Easy enough to train for but this winter was phenomenally bad and that is my excuse. So I ran the 5k with very little training under my belt.  I had a great run but it was tough for me to take that step back from 10 miler to 5k.

So I decided to step up and do the Pike’s Peak in Rockville, which was today. I was over confident and started to far forward and too over confidant.

My watch would not since and it was a all round cluster… you know.

Mile one I was in pain and uncomfortable. Usually by mile one I’m warmed up good and pushing through. I tried walking out these horrible pains in my calves but it wasn’t getting any better. I’m embarrassed to walk but I need to do what I need to do for me. This is not easy for me to show this weakness.

I reach mile two and this is getting worse. I don’t know what to do. If I keep going I could really hurt myself but this is embarrassing and I just wish I could sneak off.

I call Hophead but just as I did there is all this fanfare ahead with the Fire Department and I can’t be seen sneaking away near this. So I run…

There is a water station after the Fire Stations so I stop there. I ask:

“What do I do? I have to stop.”

This man tells me to sit down and he will get help.

I’m so embarrassed!

A woman comes to me and asked me if I’m ok and I tell her I have to stop. I tell her I started too fast and if I keep going I will hurt myself. She reassures me and tells me a van will come along at the and of the runners and will take me to the end.

Everyone running can see me sitting there. I’m so embarrassed as I sit there and my leg throbs.

Just as the van approaches I see a man on the sidewalk (not with the runners) and he is clearly a participant but he is limping and is hurt. I’m sure he does’t know there is a van to help him.

I climb into the van and thank them profusely and then point out this man. When they reach him he seems very thankful he has been found because he is hurt. He climbs into the van and we chat was we ride down Rockville Pike.

We never expected to be riding through this race and we are both disappointed in ourselves but feel better that we aren’t alone.

We reach the White Flint Metro and he is ready to get out and have his wife meet him. I get his shoe chip and say good bye.

All I want to do is cry about this position I am in. I don’t want anyone to know but I have to meet up with my brother at the finish line and my nephew has his own race. I hold all my emotions in as I tell my brother and his wife what happened.

Am I failure? Did I give up? Or was it smart?

I didn’t hurt myself further and came home, cleaned up and rode bikes with friends and had a great day.

BUT

In the back of my mind I still feel like such a failure today… Or was it smart to call it and not hurt myself? They might have missed that guy who was limping.

I still feel horrible about my showing today but I made that call to not hurt myself further. That isn’t an easy call. Maybe I am weak but who knows… maybe that makes me stronger.

I thought maybe I should be more upset and vow to never run again but that didn’t feel right. I’m taking this as a lesson to trust my gut and to start slower in the future and to train more before signing up.

So I won’t rush for another race but I won’t shy away from them.

Pike’s Peak 10k I will be back next year.

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What is your Selfie Face?

I believe this is an acceptable question to ask. It’s not like I’m asking what your O face looks like… Ewwww!

So maybe you want to know where this comes from?

I happened to be watching “Rich Kids of Beverly Hills” and this chick was looking for a place to live, other than her parents. As she looks at this one condo she has to test the lighting for her selfies. To which the other chick says she does NOT have a selfie face and then chick number one gives examples of a few of her selfie faces.

So here we are a few days later and Ginja has one of her friends, Jones, over and she is searching our house for lighting so she can get a proper selfie. You would have thought she was trying to get a signal and it was the olden golden days of those Verizon commercials… “Can you hear me now?”.

I am an inexperienced selfie taker. My goal is not to look as old as I am. The camera (phone) must be held high, suck in my cheeks to show off my cheek bones but I can’t purse my lips or I might show my wrinkles. Also I often tend to wear my glasses to deflect from wrinkles around my eyes.  Oh and sometimes I add filters and use instagram. Here are a few examples:

RedSelfies

Ginja holds the camera (phone) from an upward angle looking down on her. She puts the tongue to the roof of her mouth to avoid any double chinage. Her mouth is at just the right angle with not too big of a smile to avoid wrinkles under eyes but to be sure not to look pissed off. Hair is just right for good amount of sexiness and to give a peek at just the right amount of cleavage:

Ginja2Selfie

Jones: Camera angling down or straight ahead, face forward or a few degrees to the right because she prefers her left side:

SelfieJones

What are your selfie rules and send me a selfie to redselfie@gmail.com. I’ll post them here.

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2013 – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

2013 was a HORRIBLE year for us and we are happy to see it go.

We may not be the only ones that feel this way. Check out Momma Said | The Holiday Card No One Ever Sends.

This gave me an idea… So I sat down and listed,  by month, things that went on in 2013 and then defined them as Good, Bad or Ugly. Here is what I came up with:

January
Said Goodbye to Aunt Dot. She was 100 and this harder than I expected. Bad
Got ordained and Married our good friends Good
Training(ish) for Half Marathon Ugly
Colonoscopy – Results were good. Glad that is over. Ugly/Good
Ginja turns 18! Good

February
Caye Caulker, Belize – AWESOMENESS!!! GOOD
Training(ish) for Half Marathon Ugly
Hophead gets laid off Bad/Ugly

March
Best St. Paddy’s Day… Ever! Good
Shamrockfest loses its appeal for us. 2013 was our last year Bad
Running injury… Freak out Ugly
A friend loses her battle with cancer… No words… sadness. Bad

April
Chicago to celebrate friend’s life – Bittersweet Bad
Mountain Bike race (Baker’s Dozen). Inaugural Fookin Koontz team ride Good
Taxes nearly break us UGLY/Bad
Friends get married Good
Ginja gets her license Good/Ugly (Not really ugly just scary for me as a Mom)
Nike Women’s Half Marathon. Not a PR but I did it and really glad its over. Good/Ugly

May
Prom Good
DirtFest – Stayed on a houseboat with friends. Good
Ginja Graduates!!! Good

June
BEACH! Good
Tesla is interested in possibly hiring Hophead. Good
Another friend leaves us too soon – Pete. Bad

July
Tesla didn’t work out Bad
Hophead is working! Yay Good

August
The Crew vehicle was traded for a convertible. Wheeeeeeeeee! Good
Ginja started her First Job Good
Started more work on my sleeve (tattoo) Good
Ginja started college Good

September
Family fun at the Demolition Derby Good
Attempting to run and join groups… FAIL… Women can be mean Ugly

October
SHUTDOWN!!! Bad/Ugly
Freak out… Work on resume Good
Freak out… Get creative and do some art Good
Freak out… Visit Mom and hang with Sis and her baby Good
MoCo Epic… More epic than ever!!! Good
Halloween – We had costumes! First EVER!!! Good

November
TWO years married!!! Love this man!!! Good
Recovering financially from Shutdown… Still freaking out Bad/Ugly

December
I start a new job… Closer to home Good
Sick Ugly
Hophead continues to take classes and get certifications for his job Good
Christmas Lights Ride Good
Sick Ugly
Christmas – seeing family and watching the kids open gifts. Good
Loss of another friend – Scud Bad
Sick Ugly
New Years Eve – Houseful of old and new friends. Good

In review, here are the totals:
Good – 30
Bad – 10
Ugly – 13

Good outweighs the Bad and Ugly combined. I am still happy to see 2013 go but this exercise makes me realize that although the bad was really bad there really was a lot of good in 2013 that I had forgotten.

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What Do They See?

I don’t get many new friends on Facebook these days but when I do I usually check out their page but I also check out mine.

People I’m friends with on FB are in a trusted zone, so to speak. So when I let someone in I wonder what my world looks like in their eyes. So I peruse my own page especially my photos. I have so many photos and most of them are weird or would be weird to people who may not understand them.

For Example:

dorkChat

This is what Hophead calls Dork Chat. He says Ginja always looks like such a dork when she does Snap Chat.

There’s a good amount of tongue in my pics but in my world we do this as a sign of affection and I teach this to my Nieces and Nephews.

"This means Auntie loves you!"

“This means Auntie loves you!”

Then there are pics of Ginja and I, and sometimes others. For so long it was just the two of us.

gingaPicStitch

Of course there are pics of me an my love, Hophead. We often have beers in our hands and/or goofing around.

rhPicStitch

I bet some of the pictures look really weird to some and they must wonder why we are doing some of the things we are doing. When I scan through the pictures I feel loved. I hope what new friends see is we have wonderful family and friends and so many good times.

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Cleaning Day!

It’s a cleaning day. .. ish!

After the first full week of work after the shutdown the house has become a bit of a disaster area. While Hophead is mowing the lawn and I am cleaning out the fridge and gonna make some juice. This serves two purposes… Cleaning the fridge and to clean out some of the toxins in us.

We need to clean us out especially after being zombies yesterday.

Zombies

Zombies have bad eating habits…

Zombie_cat

I prepared the veggies and fruits. Cleaning cutting and preparing the beets is making the kitchen look like a murder scene.

Veggies

Now for juicing… Love my juicer and it didn’t cost hundred of dollars.

Juicing

It doesn’t yield a lot of juice but what it doesn’t give me in juice goes to the compost. Our outside compost is very happy and my neighbor noticed it and asked if she could add to it. We should have some great stuff come Spring.

Any of you who have followed Life of Red for a minute might be  surprised but yes I have become very domestic and love composting, recycling and things like our energy efficient home, which we hope to add solar panels at some point. I’m geeking out.

Anyhow, Now I’m on to another detoxifying juice I found on Pinterest, Turmeric Juice. I haven’t done this one before and had a hard time finding turmeric and tamarind (thanks Harris Teeter). Peeling the turmeric was interesting but it smells good. The tamarind is like an oversized dried out pea pod with roots inside. It’s always interesting when trying a recipe, or anything, for the first time and figuring out your own way to do it. The second time is alway much easier.

Everything seems to be yellowish orange now because of the turmeric. The kitchen cleaned up well but my fingers are still colored.

Just waiting for the turmeric juice to cool down before I take my first guzzle.

turmericJuice3

Hophead and Ginga are good at appeasing me and this juice phase of mine. They usually taste it and Hophead will drink it… I think. I have to wonder if Hophead gets teased at work because I’ve sent him to work several times with weird colored drinks. I get strange looks with mine at work but I love these juices. I swear I feel much better after drinking them.

Now I just need to figure out how to get the fake blood off the walls. I guess that is a downfall of being a bloody zombie for Halloween.

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