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RP: Quotes Mom Emailed Me

“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”
–Gary Brown
“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”
–Rodney Dangerfield
“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.”
–Lynn Lavner
“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.”
–Tiger Woods
“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.”
–Sharon Stone
“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”
–Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn’t think Barbara had a sense of humor)
“There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men think, ‘I know what I’m doing. Just show me somebody naked’.”
–Jerry Seinfeld
Original Post: September 11, 2005
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