work « Life of Red… and then some

My Beautiful

13 Jul 2010 1 Comment

Lately, I’ve been working downtown and by downtown I mean Chinatown. I even have to drive through Dupont Circle to get to work and I don’t like driving through Dupont Circle.

I was nervous to drive Dupont Circle but now I’m just irritated at the people in my way. I’ve noticed the words coming outta my mouth while driving in D.C seems to go something like this: “Go… go…go…go…Green means go… GO! GO! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY JUST MOVE!

Seems the cars don’t move but the pedestrians do. The pedestrians are always going even when they aren’t supposed to. The sign says do not walk but they just keep on going and don’t notice the cars. Oh and then there are the people on bikes. They stop for nothing. Not red lights and not for cars. They weave in and out of stopped traffic and seem to land just in front of me and then have a hard time starting. My favorites are the bicyclist without helmets and wearing ear phones.

I prefer my drive home because I’ve found a way that skips Dupont Circle and it seems to roll, except today. Traffic really sucked and I swear I’ll never leave that late again but there was my interaction with a parking attendant that tickled me and made my traffic laden drive home much easier.

As I was leaving the parking lot there is often an older gentleman reminding everyone in line that it’s cash only. They do anything to speed it up to get us out and I guess many have to go park and find cash to get out of the lot. So this wasn’t the first time I saw him but when I do I hold up my cash and show him I’m on board.

Today started a typical hi how are you banter and short discussion on the weather and the heat until he said something I didn’t understand. I told him I didn’t understand and he said, “Amharic?”

So I said, “Oh! Yene Konjo!”

You should have seen the look on his face as he said, “Oh you must be single! I want to know who said this to you!”

I told him I knew a few words and gave a few more examples. He told me he could teach me more words.

He followed me up to the booth and after I paid he was standing there, on the other side, with his hands clasped high together in the air as he hollered, “SEE YOU TOMORROW!”

Oh and Yene Konjo means “My Beautiful”

Dia…What?

19 May 2010 2 Comments

by Red in work

Work has been a little slow so I’ve been working on updating a manual, on mobile devices, for a co-worker’s client. She asked me to add a section detailing the mobile device for use by the Supervisors.

I was adding details of the device such as listing parts of the mobile device, charging the battery and things such as soft and hard boot of the device. Rather than reinvent the wheel, I obtained a manufacturer’s user guide complete with detailed pictures of the device.

I was nearly done and deciding if there was any other pertinent information I needed to add when I came across details of the stylus, where it was kept and how to remove it. It came with a color diagram but there was no way I could add it to the manual.

I thought it was just me and my dirty mind but seems several of my co-workers agreed this was inappropriate and were surprised the manufacturer had this in their user guide. What kind of user guide is this anyhow? (snicker snicker)

I think I will call it a day.

The Solution

29 Apr 2010 1 Comment

by Red in alcohol, Travel, work

Forget “The Situation“

Who, oddly enough, happens to look a lot like FN (in the face NOT THE BODY).

I found “The Solution“, and friends, in Atlanta at Front Page News on Crescent Street in Midtown.

Please disregard the chick who seems to have drank too many pitchers of Yuengling and note the dudes in the background. Oh but most importantly the pose of “The SOLUTION“.

Only in HotLanta

Maneater

16 Dec 2009 3 Comments

by Red in art, work Tags: googleboy

GoogleBoy’s wife makes wonderful yummies and sends them in to us, at the office, every so often.

Today she sent in Gingerbread cookies.

I chose a man.

An bit off his head!

Wow! I suddenly feel great!!

Home again home again jiggity jig

30 Oct 2009 Leave a Comment

by Red in Travel, work

I am back from Atlanta.

The trip was a success. Work went well enough and I saw old friends, one of which I hadn’t seen in over 20 years. Seems he remembers me as a 4 year old following him around and sneezing on him. I didn’t sneeze on him this time.

Work went so well that we headed to the airport (9 hours early) in hopes of getting on an earlier flight. Luckily, there seems to be a flight from Atlanta to DC every hour so it was easy to get things changed… For a small fee. It’s interesting how so many people are in a rush and this girl behind me kept pushing to get up to security and we weren’t walking fast enough for her. As we got closer a TSA agent was herding people evenly into lines and yelling out that there were three lines. As I came upon him I smiled, and half jokingly, said please direct me to the shortest line.

He said, “You want the shortest line? Follow me“

He took us in the opposite direction of everyone else and directed us to a corridor. I could feel everyone’s eyes watching us. I looked at him and said, “Really?”

He said, “Have I ever lied to you?”

I just shot him a funny little smile as I walked in the direction he sent us.

He said, “Those who cannot trust cannot be trusted.”

Ok… Good point! So I went and you know what I found? It was completely empty!

Now this is where I learned a valuable lesson. I should have moved up immediately because this old couple walked around and stepped in front of me as I was taking my shoes off and my laptop out and held up the entire line as TSA had to get them to take off their shoes, belt, jacket and so forth. The wife was carrying 24 oz of body oil in her bag and couldn’t understand why her purse wasn’t coming out on the conveyor belt. It became a cluster fuck and I paid for it because I didn’t move up. Oh well we still made it through before the girl who was rushing to get through security back in the long line.

Google Boy and I were waiting to board tha plane and this chick sat near us. She would snif very hard and you could hear the mucus roll around in her head before she swallowed. It was making me naush. I mention to Google Boy that with my luck she would be sitting right next to me on the plane.

I also noticed quite a few young’uns wearing hats that said DCFD. I wonder if they had some sort of convention but ALL of them looked very young.

I happened to be one of the first people on the plane and settled myself in and started reading. I noticed snot girl coming down the isle and started praying. Thankfully, she walked right past me. Next came the firefighters and quite a few moved to the back to sit together but a few stragglers were in other areas and I think it must have been the tallest one that sat next to me.

I couldn’t help it and asked if they had some sort of convention but they had just come from a week of training in Alabama. Seems they aren’t full fledged official firefighters yet and have been going through a lot of training. Being they are firefighters in the Nations Capital there is some specialized training they need that other firefighters don’t have to go through. Tall boy told me they had about twenty of them on that flight and I got the impression there were more meaning DCFD is in the midst of gettin quite an influx of new firefighters.

As we sat on the runway waiting for our turn to take off… Delayed because of rain… I was looking ahead in the plane and all these firefighters. I could help but think, if it were inevitable that I would one day be on a plane that went down and I had my choice I would want it to be this flight. Because with so many firefighters they are all prepared for way more than anyone else. I surely would be saved.

Then again I overheard how hard they trained and how hard they partied so they may not have been at their best in a disaster situation, eh?

No Concentration… AT ALL!! Update

05 May 2009 5 Comments

by Red in famous, movies, odd people, work

All of us are finding it a bit difficult to concentrate today. It is now 2:00 and no word yet on the RIFs.

Tensions are high and that seems to flowing into all sorts of other areas.

Then I noticed on Twitter that Dom DeLuise passed yesterday. So sad! He was only 75 but was suffering from kidney failure and respiratory issues.

We all started talking about this over the cubes and got us very easily disrupted us since it’s so difficult to concentrate anyhow.

This then led to a discussion of stars and plastic surgery starting with Burt Reynolds, since he is who you think of in conjunction with Dom DeLuise and those Cannonball Movies. burt

The discussion turned to Kenny Rogers and Roy Schneider’s bad plastic surgery. kenny-rogers-face-lift

Then someone said that Darryl Hannah had plastic surgery which led to this awful photo and somehow I came across an article on famous people who are borderline austistic.

Oh and then there was the discussion that Kelly McGillis recently came out in an article with SheWired.com. Kelly Reminds me of Kathleen Turner who has aged HORRIBLY! If you saw her in “Marley and Me” then you know what I’m talking about.

See what happens when you can’t concentrate!

**UPDATE**
I still have my job but many good people are leaving. It is very sad at work this week. Keep those who have lost their jobs in your prayers. It is happening too much lately and NO ONE is immune. Not even IT.

One good turn deserves another

30 Dec 2008 2 Comments

by Red in holidays, work

After elfing my team and putting them all over my walls a co-worker elfed me.

elf

*Photo Credit: Gjergi

Holiday + Work + Friends = CrazyDay

19 Dec 2008 1 Comment

by Red in friends, holidays, Squirrely Gurl, work

Yesterday was such a crazy day. I figured it would be but it can still be difficult to prepare for.

We had potluck and the cube decorating contest at work. I got third place for my decorations and was surprised to get that because I had elfed my director along with the rest of my team and placed them all over my walls. I found it all very amusing because decorating the cube really isn’t my thing and I don’t know what got into me. My original plan was to Photoshop my Director, as Santa, print it out on one of the plotters so I could hang it outside my cube. There just wasn’t enough time and he was grateful for that but I’ve threatened to make him Cupid for Valentine’s Day.

: My Cube

: Inside The Cube

: The Elves

I left work and headed to Old Town Alexandria to be Squirrely’s Gurl’s guest for her Holiday Party on a Riverboat… Casino style. It just happens it’s my former company’s party so I knew most of the people there. Hardly saw Squirrely Gurl at all while I reconnected with old co-workers. Tried my hand at Craps but just wasn’t getting it.

The boat docked around 9PM and Squirrely Gurl and I headed to Flanagan’s Harp and Fiddle in Bethesda to see/hear

Scythian. Mrs. M and her crew were already there and as Squirrely Gurl and I pulled up we saw Shortie heading in with two boys. Who are those boys? We found Rock Star parking and headed in to join everyone. The crowd was rocking and everyone was having a great time. I loved it! Scythian really knows how to rock the house Celtic Holiday style. A good time was had by all and I have to say my favorite part of the entire day was bumping into someone I hadn’t seen in a long time and meeting his son. It was too brief but it was great to see you!

It was getting late and the day had been full so I made sure Squirrely Gurl had a way home and I called it an evening.

This morning I got the following email from Shortie on the rest of the evening after I left.

“So I will set this all up for ya.

You bring in all of Squirrely Gurl’s stuff, plus the shoes and are on your way. This tall well dressed bald man comes up to me and starts talking. Tells me I am very attractive, yada yada…. Wants to know my name (I tell him Tall Girl), wants to know where I live (he guesses Arlington, weird) and what I do….I tell him IT, he calls me a computer geek. So he asks if he can take me out some time and if I am single. He asks for my number, then email, and then gives me his card. All the while Squirrely Gurl and I are making faces at each other (while she is trying not to fall off the stool). God only knows where Boy1 and Boy2 are, but I know they are watching this whole thing. Turns out he is a piano teacher….not what I was expecting but hey. So one of his friends comes over (Scythian has gone a little country on us) and the dude starts clogging or something. All I noticed was the 80s loafers and the red socks. He is swing and groovin all over the place. Arms and hands coming dangerously close to whacking Boy1 and Boy2 who have been up against the windows. The next song comes on “The Kiss”, I tell Squirrely Gurl and the boys we can leave right after this is done. So I am standing there doing my thing when another dude grabs me and starts twirling me. Really, what! Next the creepy guy with the long hair comes by, stops, backs up and looks at me. He goes, “you look happier tonight”. I say, “I have friends with me tonight.”

It is time to get the hell out.

Leave Harp and Fiddle. Squirrely Gurl is searching through her stuff cause she can’t find her phone (oh no, not the phone). The boys are half a block a head and Boy1 is singing, badly at the top of his lungs. Squirrely Gurl, thank God, finds her phone. We get to the car….and it starts. The boys are singing and quoting Frost, Shakespeare and I think they think Thoreau. So we are heading back, I’m following my GPS, cause I want to avoid G-Town tonight. We pull up to a light, the guys next to us are dancing, and I lock the windows. Squirrely Gurl, Boy1 and Boy2 all want to put the windows down so they can, I have no idea, talk, make fun, yell……who knows. So we are heading down Mass or Conn Ave and the boys are giving me turn by light by car directions….wonderful. Heading towards Dupont Circle. Get up to the circle, construction, no circle access. U-turn back up the street. Don’t know what I am going to do…..make a right go down a few blocks, make a right head back into the city…..F@#$% A back at the freakin circle, and sorta blocked again. The peanut gallery has figured it out too and is cursing the construction and as Adam would say “kirking out”. I go left, the opposite way on the circle to get around the cones and back on to the circle. Thank goodness, now we can keep moving. Boy1 who hasn’t been in DC in a very long time is being a complete tourist, loving every building we pass. We get on 14th and he sees the Washington monument. Gets waaaaaaay too excited. So Squirrely Gurl and I point out that coming up on the left he will be able to see the capital. I thought he was going to get out of the car (good thing my car auto locks everyone in). We are on 1 heading toward Squirrely Gurl’s when everyone announces they have to pee…..great, can you hold it 15 minutes more……sure. Get to Squirrely Gurl’s, the boys are doing their pee pee dance and ask to use Squirrely Gurl’s…..everyone out.

I have to say that has been one of the more interesting drives home. Squirrely Gurl was cracking me up and the boys were in their own world. I felt like a mother on carpool duty. Home by 2 am and to work before 8 am, I am going to need a nap this afternoon. TGIF.

We need to hang out more……maybe after Christmas. I will be home on the 28th and I have no plans for the rest of the so called holiday season…..
Love ya, miss ya
Shortie“

One of the best things I did to prepare for last night was to bring a change of shoes. It was a wonderfully full day but I woke up this morning to the realization that my stomach doesn’t quite agree and my feet are mad because I didn’t switch to the flats soon enough. Working will be difficult today.

Note: Be sure to check back for photos to be added