Thank goodness Juno is BACK!
08 Jun 2010 Leave a Comment
Mini Red is one of the happiest kids in the world right now. Her best friend, Juno, moved back from Florida a week early and surprised her today.
Mini Red cried for four weeks when Juno left. I didn’t know how to help her but all is right in the world now and they are together once again.
Recently, Mini Red was texting Juno about the Bad Boy she has been chatting with. I call him Bad Boy because although he seems nice enough he was one of the very few that got in trouble and purposefully defied authority when the crew team went to Philadelphia for Stotesbury. He is the Boy our parents warned us about.
Well… Mini Red texted Juno, excitedly, to tell her that Bad Boy asked her to “Hang Out”. Juno had the best response:
Oh Cool! But wait… If he want’s you to see his fish tank or Bono CD… DON’T because he doesn’t have either.
I love this girl!
RP: Pick Up Line Of The Day
07 Jun 2010 Leave a Comment
“I quit my job last week because I won the Lottery. You have to go out with me now.“
“No, it’s not about the money.”
“Then what is it about and how can I get you to go out with me?”
“I’m not sure how to explain what it’s about but if I figure it out I will let you know.”
RP: The “C” Battery
05 Jun 2010 Leave a Comment
in Re-Post
NOOOOOOOO!
Several times it tried to come back on and we just sat there, in the dark, astonished. This can’t be happening! We have been waiting for this for THREE weeks! Finally, we got up and lit the candles. Nicole held a candle for The Kiddo so she could finish putting her clothes away. I found more candles and a few flashlights. All the while Nicole and I were just so upset… This is our big TV night or as Nicole put it recently “Our girls bonding night”.
Original Post: November 10, 2005
RP: To Snuggle or Not to Snuggle?
02 Jun 2010 2 Comments
“Is this the obligatory cuddle time?”
“Cause you know were gonna roll over in a few minutes and do the butt snuggle.”
“The butt snuggle?”
“Yeah, when you rollover, go to sleep and only your butts are touching.”
“You meet someone, you have the safe lunch, you decide you like each other enough to move on to dinner, you go dancing, you do the white man’s overbite, you go back to her place, you have sex, and the minute you’re finished, you know what goes through your mind? How long do I have to lie here and hold her before I can get up and go home? Is thirty seconds enough?”
“Maybe in the past women were needy like that and maybe some still are but today I believe women are much stronger and more independent. It seems men are becoming the more sensitive of the species… or at least faking it.”
Lurch
29 May 2010 1 Comment
in Beach
Love finding the local celebrities, but I didn’t find this one… That would be Brotha-Man.
Brotha-Man pointed out Lurch from the Sports Junkies. Plus I happen to know that Squrriley Gurl LOVES her some Junkies.
So after a day of drinking at a JAM packed Seacrets with cousins I headed over to Macky’s with Brotha-Man, SIL and kids. We bumped into the newly engaged family friend as Brotha-Man pointed out the Lurch.
I definitely had enough liquid courage to get a pic for Squirrley Gurl.
Well, Squirrley Gurl responded to my pictured text with a “BITCH!”
Damn this dude is tall!!!
The Newest Fashion in Men’s Wallets
26 May 2010 Leave a Comment
This must be the cheapest most interesting wallet I have ever seen. Even better than just a paper clip.
In this view you can see the money on the right where it is normally just sitting on top of the cards on the left.
This is what it looks like when it’s closed:
Yes! It’s an Altoids Peppermint box.
He says this is what he has been using for years and is only on his second box, after the hinges on the first one fell apart.
I had to ask if he carries it in his back pocket, which I would think might be uncomfortable. He said he carries it in a front pocket and usually sets it on a table when he sits down.
Interesting…
RP: Quotes Mom Emailed Me
25 May 2010 Leave a Comment
–Gary Brown
–Rodney Dangerfield
–Lynn Lavner
–Tiger Woods
–Sharon Stone
–Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn’t think Barbara had a sense of humor)
–Jerry Seinfeld
RP: The Kiddo’s Shot
24 May 2010 Leave a Comment
Dia…What?
19 May 2010 2 Comments
in work
Work has been a little slow so I’ve been working on updating a manual, on mobile devices, for a co-worker’s client. She asked me to add a section detailing the mobile device for use by the Supervisors.
I was adding details of the device such as listing parts of the mobile device, charging the battery and things such as soft and hard boot of the device. Rather than reinvent the wheel, I obtained a manufacturer’s user guide complete with detailed pictures of the device.
I was nearly done and deciding if there was any other pertinent information I needed to add when I came across details of the stylus, where it was kept and how to remove it. It came with a color diagram but there was no way I could add it to the manual.
I thought it was just me and my dirty mind but seems several of my co-workers agreed this was inappropriate and were surprised the manufacturer had this in their user guide. What kind of user guide is this anyhow? (snicker snicker)
I think I will call it a day.
RP: Fart
18 May 2010 Leave a Comment
Yes I said FART! “Pass the Gas”,”Piffication”, “Cut the Cheese” or my Mother’s favorite “Poo Poo POP!” This topic can be funny or horrifying depending on the person. Most don’t want to admit how funny they find it.
I was informally dating “Boat Boy” and at the last minute he came over one night. We climbed into bed and as I was drifting off to sleep, my body was relaxing and I heard, and felt, my body release GAS! Yes I FARTED! Oh My GOD! I was now wide awake and praying he was asleep but I don’t think he was. I think he heard it and I was devastated! I imagined what might be going through his head and he was probably trying to keep from laughing. I finally drifted off to sleep… fartless.
In the middle of the night I woke up and had to go to the bathroom. I climbed back into bed and again was drifting off to sleep when it happened again. I do believe this one was louder, but this time I was more confident he was asleep. Oddly enough, when I said good-bye to him in the morning it would be the last time I saw him. (No great loss there… that’s another story for another time)
Personally, I find this topic quite amusing except when I’m the farter or have to smell a really wretched one. For example… one day I was on the elevator to the third floor and the elevator stopped on the second floor to let an older gentleman off. He stopped just outside the doors and farted just before the doors closed on me.
My ex husband would always lift his leg when farting. I guess this assisted in getting it out. I just never understood why he always lifted the leg closest to me. I have a girlfriend who has the same complaint with a current boyfriend of hers. What is this? She says her boyfriend really enjoys his farts and loves to show them off in various ways. She has gone so far as to leave their bed for the guest room because the stench just won’t go away.
Not to long ago I had to go in for a colonoscopy. Oh happy happy joy joy. As they were wheeling me out into recovery all I heard were farts “pffft”, “pffft”, “whoomp”. I called it “The Farting Room”. They told me I needed to pass gas to be discharged (hee hee that was punny). So I quietly passed gas and told them so and yet I stayed right where I was. Another patient was brought in and put across the room. All the staff was with that patient when I passed again and everyone heard it. With that the nurse walked over and said I could go. I guess they needed to hear it. When I walked out my Mom said I was the most lucid person to walk out of there. I told her that was because I was too embarrassed to fart out loud so it took me longer and delayed my release (hee hee punny again) therefore the sedation had worn off.
Original Post: September 8, 2005
This repost is dedicated to Jen. I love ya Sistah!!!
