In heaven there is no beer… That’s why we drink ours here.
27 Feb 2008 2 Comments
Do you know what time it is?
It’s time to get your horny green on!
February is ending this week and you know what happens in March? St. Patty’s Day!
So you may be asking yourself what is so great about St. Patty’s Day?
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I look really good in green
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Tis the holiday for a pint and even better if it’s colored green
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Bagpipes everywhere (gawd I love em)
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It’s all about the Irish and boy do I look Irish
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Oh and one of the best parts is…
SHAMROCKFEST!
You haven’t heard of Shamrockfest? It’s only the biggest St.Patty’s Festival in the history of the DC Metro area. It used to be held in Ballston but it just got too big and they had to move it to RFK. The Festival has all sorts of goings on but the best part is the music and the beer. There 50 musical acts on over 10 stagesHere’s a quick view of the lineup:
Bands: Scythian, Street Dogs, The Tossers, Carbon Leaf, Great Big Sea, Charm City Saints, Pubcrawlers, Icewagon Flu, Ceann, DC101 Super Bands, Mr. Greengenes, Scott’s New Band, JunkFood, Overdrive Superthruster, Dr. FU, Love Seed Mama Jump, Rude Buddha, Burnt Sienna, Liquid A, Jimmie’s Chicken Shack, Army of Me, Cutthroat Shamrock, Shane Gamble & The Gentlemen, Everyone But Pete, O’Danny Girls, ThatGuy, Below Sixth, Crowded Streets, Rome in a Day, Flying Cows of Ventry, Brad Pugh & Friends, The Speaks
DJs: PERFECTO featuring PAUL OAKENFOLD, Tommy Lee and DJ Aero (YES, it’s THE Tommy Lee. . .), EXACTA, Liquid Todd, Pat Premier, Dave Russell, Grooves, Rene, Maskell, Lil Fos, Kwest, Yummy
Are you gonna be there? Keep an eye out for the redhead.
Are you up to the challenge?
25 Feb 2008 2 Comments
Evidently, many weren’t this go around in the Hammer Photoshop Challenge.
The photo to work with:
I was anxious to see what these bloggers came up with because it’s truly a lesson for me in not being so uptight in my Photoshop work.
There were only four entries and I have to throw kudos to Phil but I loved Hammer’s roller coaster entry.
Check it out here.
…a little F-16 in my pants
24 Feb 2008 1 Comment
Well… Not my pants… Her pants. Actually… Many womens pants… Oh just go read.
So this will make two in a row where I haven’t actually written anything but I find enlightening all of you just as important and if it makes you laugh… All the better.
I got this email the other day and I didn’t read it right way. I guess I wanted to have privacy when I read it due to the subject line:
“…a little F-16 in my pants” or “Put down the hammer!”
Is Mini Red in bed yet? (**looking both ways**)
This is just BRILLIANT!
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Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your ‘Always’ maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight,
white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from “the curse?” I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call ‘an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.’ Isn’t the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from ‘Aunt Flo’. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jenifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants… Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted
to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: ‘Have a Happy Period.’
Are you freakin’ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness – actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything ‘happy’ about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreen’s armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like ‘Put down the Hammer’ or ‘Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong’, or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull shit.
And that’s a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX
Wendy Aarons has a blog and you can check her out here.
That’s a new one
18 Feb 2008 2 Comments
in hmmm
Wandering Girl over at A dog, a cat, and a girl in fabulous shoes came upon something the likes of which I think no one has seen.
A Redneck Sports bra!
And I ain’t lyin.
You can check it out here.
Thanks WG that was some great investigative photography.
What makes you giggle?
18 Feb 2008 2 Comments
in commercials
Have you seen this commercial?
Mini Red gets all giggly after seeing this commercial because it has so many elements she loves.
See several times Mini Red has had crowds gather as she dances on the dance floor at weddings. One of her favorite dances is the thriller dance. My cousin had over 400 people at his wedding and this HUGE crowd gathered. I pushed my way forward to find Mini Red and another cousin’s little one doing the thriller dance along with other moves like the sprinkler and the lawn mower. This became rather amusing when when these dudes (long time family friends), in their late 20′s, got in on it and started dancing with them. Seems they had some dance moves thier girlfriends could keep up with.
What makes this commercial even better for Mini Red are the lizards doing the dance. Because as some of you know Mini Red and I love lizards and we love our Bearded Dragon, Kima.
I guess Mini Red sees this commercial as Kima doing the dancing. Hence the giggling and claiming this as her most favorite commercial of all time.
Personally, I get a kick out of these T-Mobile Commercials:
and
Because I think I may have dated him.
The Graphic Goddess and her Tater
12 Feb 2008 4 Comments
in college, dudes, Uncategorized
2007 marked a beginning of sorts for me. I started college and took three classes last year. I became friends with a girl and she and I stuck together through the classes especially the last two.
The last class was Illustrator and as I am who I am I would talk to many in the class. We had one class left and I was talking to this dude who noted that I said my friend’s name. It became evident that he was intrigued by her but nothing to worry there was only one class left. I did, however, tease her that he was going to be in the next class (In Design) with us.
The In Design class started January 28th and my friend was disappointed that I had decided to take a break. We both voiced concern over the dude, who we will call Tater. Our concerns became justified the first day of class.
I was at home and happened to be on the computer when I got a sudden IM “dude. i need you in this class” and in a blink of the eye she was gone.
Ends up Tater picked a seat right next to her and even asked her out after class. On top of that it seems the Professor is a complete loon. Every time we talk I become more and more happy with my decision and she wishes she made the same decision.
Now that I’ve set this up here is the conversation we had today:
Graphic Goddess: i HATE HATE HATE this class.
Graphic Goddess: take it with the other Professor, save yourself
Red: oh yeah? I’m feeling very happy about my decision not to take a class this semester.
Graphic Goddess: yeah i would too. I want to shoot myself
Red: I’m sure Tater isn’t helping
Graphic Goddess: he asks me out every class
Red: really? what the hell?
Graphic Goddess: he’s always like – so you’re not going to let me buy you food?
and i say, nope
and he’s like, really?
and i’m like, yep
and then he hates me for a bit
he’s very grumpy
Red: then he tries again? He’s a brooding sort of guy
Graphic Goddess: yes he is. We don’t really get along very well
I always think he’s being an asshole and he’s well, always being an asshole
Red: you should bring in a framed photo of you and your boy and ask him his advice on the frame
Graphic Goddess: ha
Red: I love that you are very direct with him
Graphic Goddess: 
Red: can I post this conversation? this is funny stuff
I’ll change his name to Tater. So what you want me to call you?
Graphic Goddess: sure. um…i don’t care. graphic goddess?
How many?
11 Feb 2008 5 Comments
On the way home from work the other day there was a license plate that grabbed my attention. The car was a small convertible Jag and a Dude was driving.
I decided I had to try and get a picture so I took chase. But alas my cell phone camera couldn’t get close enough to capture this plate.
See you can’t even see the plate. The plate wasn’t even a vanity plate but it was awesome none-the-less.
What did it say?
114 BJS
I LOVE IT!
I had to wonder if that was impressive. Considering there are 365 days in a year then I would have to say that might be a very sad number.
It becomes a bit different if a woman was driving that car. Plus instead of me taking chase the dudes might be chasing her.
The big catch up ( I know… Unoriginal title)
09 Feb 2008 5 Comments
I guess I haven’t written much lately which is evident when people start contacting me to see if I’m ok.
Mid December I came down with a cold and the next day I started a new job. I was terrified about leaving my old, small, company and starting with The Borg. That first week of the new job I was also finishing up my Illustrator class and still had a lot to do to complete my final project. That final project was tough and took weeks to complete due to the details.
Our first project was easy and was all about just learning the Illustrator tools. The second project pushed us into drawing a writing tool. This one was tough but I learned a lot. The third project was much easier and we had to design the front and back of a CD case. I hated what I did but I met all the objectives. Then it was time for the final project and for this one we had to draw a transportation vehicle. It was hard to find a photo of what I wanted to draw but in the end I took a photo of a friend’s 69 Cougar.
The tough part about drawing this car is the reflections that include trees and buildings. My drawing needs clean lines. Plus you’ll notice the inside of the car is unfinished. I talked to my Professor to make sure but I would have to use some of my own artistic licensing to pull it together.
Just getting started was probably the toughest part. That last week I had started the new job, was sick and worked till after 1am every night but when I sat down to work on the car I have to admit I enjoyed it. Mini Red would be sleeping and the TV was on for background noise and there were no distractions… Just me and the Cougar. In the end I was pretty happy with the result.
Hopefully, it’s difficult to see all the little details it takes to pull this together. To give you an idea of the details I took the front tire, which took me most of a Saturday, and broke it down in the picture below.
I was so happy to turn this in. I tried to take it easy the next day at work and was feeling like the cold was going away. I got through the day and even met up with a friend that evening. The next day was Saturday and the goal was to finish up the Christmas shopping I had put on hold. Christmas was only a few days away and I needed to finish so I could wrap on Sunday because Monday I had to work and Christmas was Tuesday. But on Saturday I was feeling worse and it all went down hill from there. It took all day and I was everywhere but I did finish. This was the Saturday that I also ran into issues with FN.
By Monday I finished up working then more wrapping and had to lie down for just an hour before we had to head off to the big family Christmas Eve party. Thank goodness for Mini Red because she loaded the car so I could finish up and get ready. We were late but I dropped Mini Red off and headed over to The Folks to unload the car before I could get to the party. It was a long night and I didn’t get much sleep since I can never seem to sleep anywhere but in my own bed.
Christmas Day was crazy. 7:30am Mass, opening gifts, off to my Aunt and Uncle’s for brunch and dropped Mini Red at her Dad’s. I hadn’t stopped for weeks I was sick and just couldn’t do one more thing. When I got home I sat on the fat ass couch and fell asleep mid flip of the TV stations. I finally got some sleep and I was thrilled Christmas was over. Hopefully, I could feel better soon.
But the cold continued into this horrendous cough. I wasn’t sure what to do since I hadn’t gotten my insurance cards yet. Mom mentioned the Minute Clinic and they were able to give me a prescription. It helped a little but I was told I would probably still cough for a few more weeks. The cough finally started subsiding by the end of January just in time for Mini Red’s 13th birthday.
Mini Red’s big gift from me was to see Cirque Dreams at the Hippodrome in Baltimore. I took Mom too and she ended up buying us dinner at Maggie Moore’s. We had such a great time except Mini Red had been sick all weekend. I’d never seen her like that and all she did was sleep. She was feeling better in time for the show but couldn’t stop her nose from running. At one point she just stuffed tissues up her nose during the show.
Unfortunately, I came down with something else the next day which brought the cough back and worse than ever. At least I had my insurance cards now so I went in to see a doc. I was put on this inhaler and it’s helping but still having to use it. Hopefully, one more week will do it.
Lastly, I’ve decided not to take a class this semester. I need to finish getting better and make sure I’m doing well on this new job. Plus I’m hoping to have a little more of a social life. From what I hear this was the semester to take off. A friend that did decide to take the class HATES it.
So now you are caught up and I will try to post a bit more.
